


Amnesia

by vnlabeean



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Amnesia, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:47:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24266125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vnlabeean/pseuds/vnlabeean
Summary: When Richie leaves derry he soon forgets his friends and Eddie. Eddie however did not have the same luxury.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	Amnesia

**Author's Note:**

> This work is influenced by the song Amnesia by 5SOS

Amnesia

Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak have always been inseparable. Ever since the tender age of 13 they were rarely ever seen without the other. Together the two created a seemingly unbreakable bond. That was until the Toziers packed up and moved all the way across the country. Breaking them apart.

When Richie made it to California his only line of communication to Eddie, the boy he so loved consisted of pen and paper with the occasional landline call. Just like anyone else who left the small town of Derry, Maine Richie soon started to forget the small details. Eddie was the only thing keeping him tied to the town. Many of his memories soon only consisted of the small hypochondriac. When he wrote to Eddie he would tell him everything, including the loss of memory. Eddie began to worry Richie would start to forget him.

Still in Derry, Eddie wrote to Richie almost everyday. Eddie told the trashmouth everything that happened in school, at home, and with the Losers Club. He often asked if he talked to the others, the answer was always “I really only remember you Eds.” Eddie became further concerned that Richie would forget him forever. Desperate to hold onto the relationship he once had with the other he sent letter after letter, called more frequently, and even prayed to god that Richie Tozier, the boy he loved, would never forget him. Meanwhile Richie, who was 3000 miles in the wrong direction, began to feel the fear of losing his memory.

Richie slowly but surely started to lose memories of Eddie Kaspbrak. Only a faint memory of what he even looked like remaining in his mind. The only thing Richie couldn't forget was how he felt. He remembers the feeling he had when he would tease Eddie and Eddie would hide a smile but fight back. He remembers the way his chest would tighten when his own sapphire eyes would meet Eddie’s cocoa-colored doe eyes. He remembers the soft hands that would patch him up after a bad fall or an unfortunate encounter with the Bowers’ gang. But most importantly, he remembers the love and sense of longing he felt when his mind wandered to the faint memory of Eddie Kaspbrak.  
-  
It’s been 4 years since Richie left Derry, 2 years since he forgot everything about his childhood including Eddie Kaspbrak. Life in California seemed to suit him better than the foggy memory of the small town he once resided in. Often he tries to remember if he had friends. He wonders why he doesn’t receive letters anymore, then wonders who he could be expecting a letter from. Richie Tozier, albeit his memory loss, did not change one bit. He was ever the notorious trashmouth even in his 20’s. Because of this he soon began to become very popular in the Comedy industry. He loved his new life 3000 miles away from a childhood he couldn’t remember.

3000 miles away Eddie Kaspbrak still resided in Derry. He had come to terms with the fact that he had lost Richie with a simple excuse of distance, only distance. Eddie often reminded himself that it wasn’t personal, that Richie had not wanted to move as far away from him as possible. That Richie was simply busy and they were just too far away from each other to be the dynamic duo they once were. “That’s just life” he would tell himself. Eddie, although hurting, was very brave. He could handle this. He rarely dwelled on his pain until one day, while scrolling through the television channels, he stumbled upon the shit-eating grin of the one and only, Richie Tozier. Memories flooded through Eddie like a tidal wave. Suddenly overwhelmed Eddie picked up a pen and wrote one more letter to Richie.

Richie sat in his apartment staring at a letter from Eddie Kaspbrak from Derry, Maine. He recognized Derry as his home town. He could not, for the life of him, place face to name and wondered who decided to send him a letter. The name, however, flooded Richie with an intense sense of loneliness and longing for something he couldn’t find. With a heavy heart and anxiety he opened the letter.

“Dear Richie,

I saw you on the TV today. So you’ve finally made it huh? I want you to know that I am very proud of you. I always knew you would make it some way or another. I will not lie when I say that I miss you. I know being all the way in California makes it hard for you to remember, your memory always was kind of shit.”

Richie paused to chuckle, he did not know who Eddie was but he guessed Eddie remembers him very well.

“Richie, I’m so jealous. Jealous that you were able to forget the pain. Able to move on from the trauma and horrors we endured together. I’ve been unable to forget you. Unable to forget our love. Unable to move on. Don’t feel bad, it happens to everyone who leaves Derry.

Rich, I remember the day you told me you were leaving. You didn’t tell me until the night before you left, but I knew. I knew you were moving away deep within my heart. You told me “Eds I couldn’t bear to break your heart any sooner.” Oh chee, you could never break my heart. You would never do anything to hurt me, right? Any pain caused was just situational. Caused by the events we couldn’t control, we were only children after all.”

Richie realized he was crying only when a tear dropped onto the college ruled letter, smearing the neat handwriting. He couldn’t place why he felt so sad, so empty.

“Still, you left behind dreams and wishes we had made. I guess you don’t need them anymore. You seem to have made new dreams within your new life. But Richie, I wish I could wake up with amnesia. I wish I could forget all the stupid little things, like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you. All the memories I wish I could escape. If I woke up tomorrow with you beside me, I’d hold you closer than I ever did. I’m not afraid of our love anymore chee. I’m not afraid of what we are anymore.

It hurts to know you’re happy and it hurts that you’ve moved on. I am happy for you, I am. But, Rich, if what we had was real how could you be fine? I’m not fine at all. Tell me it’s just a dream Richie. Tell me you didn’t forget me and that you’ll see me soon. Tell me I shouldn’t feel this pain, tell me it isn’t real. I’m really not fine at all. I’ve been trying to be brave, I have. I’ve been brave long enough. I have to tell you how I feel. I have to give you some reminder of me, of us. I miss Rich, I still love you. So much that it hurts.

The only thing I have left of you are pictures from our childhood. Those pictures seem to burn holes in my album, begging to be looked at. I can’t. I can’t look at your goofy face and long to hear your voice, long to be beside you. Long for you to remember me. Please, Richie Tozier, for the love of every god, please remember me. I’m going to send you a photo of us before you left. If you can find it in that thick skull of yours to remember please respond. I’m so afraid that you still won’t remember. But, it’s worth a shot. Hopefully I hear from you soon.

With deep sadness,  
Eddie Kaspbrak.”

Richie felt sick, a sudden wave of sadness and regret overtaking his entire body. He scrambled for the envelope desperate to see the photo. He pulled the photo out with shaking hands. As soon as he laid his eyes upon the photo his knees went weak. He fell to the floor clutching the photo. He stared at the two young boys recognizing one as himself and the other as Eddie Kaspbrak, the boy he had forgotten. As he looked at Eddie in this photo clad in a yellow shirt and red shorts memories began to flood back. The long nights, the secret trips to the clubhouse, the hushed whispers at sleep-overs, everything. He studied the photo and realized he missed Eddie. Eddie and his giant doe eyes, his freckles, his fanny pack. Oh that goddamn fanny pack. He carried a whole pharmacy in that thing didn’t he? Richie let out a wet laugh into his empty living room. He clutched the photo to his chest and sobbed. Cried harder than he ever had. He quickly grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a simple, “See you soon.” He mailed the letter that day and booked a flight for the next morning.

Richie arrived in Derry, Maine at 3pm. He quickly made his way to the address on the envelope. With his heart racing, he knocked. The door opened to reveal the boy in the picture, only slightly taller with more defined features. He was beautiful. Without realizing it tears began to pool in Richie’s eyes. “Richie?” The boy spoke. Sounding shocked as he stared at the taller boy in disbelief. “Eds.” Richie breathed out. Memories flooding back as he stared into his amber eyes. Eddie crashed into Richie within seconds. Wrapping his arms around Richie’s lanky form. Richie who was a whole head taller now held Eddie like he was a treasure from the depths of the ocean.

“I’m so sorry I forgot you.” he struggled out through his tears. “I promise it will never happen again.” With this statement Eddie pulled away from him to stare into his ocean eyes. “I’m so mad at you. But, I love you too much to stay mad.” Eddie had tears in his eyes as well. “I never forgot the feelings I had Eddie.” Richie told him truthfully. “I love you too Eds.” They spent long moments just looking at each other, studying the other and learning the new features their faces held. Eddie was the one who broke the silence, “How can I be sure you won’t forget me when you go back to LA again?” Within a split second Richie said, almost without thinking, “Come with me.” Eddie blinked at him for a second, “You’re crazy.” He laughed.

But Eddie boarded that plane to LA anyways.


End file.
